


Chasing Rivaille

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Drama, M/M, Office, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2017-12-24 01:40:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Yeager is in love with his supervisor, Levi. One night, he accidentally tells him how he feels. Levi, however feels grossed out and leaves. Then Eren makes it his ultimate goal to get Levi to fall for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Night

**Author's Note:**

> I really tried you guys, I really tried.  
> Ps : English isn't my native language, so please, if you find any grammatical errors, do point them out.  
> Thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short and kind of boring to read. I might have to re-write it at some point. I probably will.
> 
> I really tried to make this interesting. I'm not good with emotional stories, I do better at fantasy.

  The office was dimly lit. Seemingly everybody had already left. Well, everybody except Eren Yeager, who was frantically finishing up the paperwork piled on his desk. He rubbed his temples and kept telling himself to stay patient. It wasn't anyone's fault except his own. It was **his** fault that he couldn't leave early on a Friday because **he** had delayed **his**  own god damned work for three days. It was a miracle he hadn't gotten fired by now. Eren nervously tapped the end of his pen against the table, holding back the urge to break it in his hand. When it finally seemed that he would be able to focus, his trail of thought was cut off by a pair of footsteps frantically rushing along to corridor. Growling beneath his breath, Eren turned his head to glare at the door and was mildly surprised when a blonde head stuck through the doorframe.

 "Is my phone here? Have you seen my phone?" Armin ran over to his desk, rummaging through the drawers. "I can't find it!"

 Eren exhaled loudly and got up from his chair. This kind of thing happened often. Armin usually had a bright mind and a calm outlook, but he would often stress about trivial matters. A sign of relief flashed over his face as Eren held out his hand with Armin's phone in it.

"Thanks," he said silently. "Where..where was it this time?"

 Eren pointed at the bookshelf behind Armin's desk. "As usual, huh?" The smaller boy exhaled a sigh of relief. "I always forget to check there." He then looked at the pile of paper stacked on top of Eren's desk. "Do you need any help with those?"

 Eren only shrugged "I think I can manage somehow. It's my own fault anyway for postphoning it for so long. Don't worry too much." 

 Armin took a quick look at the clock. Eren caught him doing so. "No, really. I'm fine. Just go already."

 "If you say so," Armin stuffed the phone in his pocket and headed for the door. Before leaving, he turned his head one last time. "Bye, Eren. Don't stress yourself, okay?"

 "Yeah,yeah."

***

 About a hour passed, and Eren was close to finishing, but not quite. It would still take him atleast another fifteen minutes to get his shit done and organized. It was already past seven, but he knew that he'd also be able to pull it off this time. A victorious grin escaped his lips, and for a moment Eren was really inspired to just get it over and done with. Of course, he would also be interrupted this time by the sound of someone clearing their throat in what seemed like a five inch distance from his ears. Gingerly, Eren lifted his head only to be faced with an incredulous scowl.

 "Working overtime, Yeager?"

 Eren gulped and his throat went completely dry. His demons were after him again, he thought as he was staring in the face of his supervisor, Levi.

 "Just finishing up some paperwork, sir." Eren was always clueless when it came to making small talk with Levi. The man might have been no more than 5"3, but he was inarguably the strictest person Eren had encountered in his lifetime. Levi didn't take shit from anyone and he never hesitated to let Eren (or anyone else in that matter) know how useless they were. Even so, Eren couldn't help but feel tight in his chest as his eyes brushed over Levi's raven hair, his jawline, his neck...

 Levi exhaled deeply and ran his hand through his hair. "What are your plans for tonight?"

 Eren and Levi's relationship, despite the foregoing, was friendly. There were a few times that they had gone out drinking in the past, and Eren was guessing that this was Levi's plan today aswell.

 "I should be finished in roughly fifteen minutes. From that point on, nothing." Eren adverted his gaze to the papers once more. 

 "Do you want to get a few drinks tonight?" Eren had expected that question and already had an answer ready, however, he decided to linger with it so that his immediate answer wouldn't seem too creepy. After a few thoughtful hums, he said "Yeah, sure. Should we go to my place for tonight?" He knew that Levi didn't appreciate the overly crowded bars and it's noisy people. They'd always end up either at his or Eren's place.

 "Yeah, okay." Levi said, his voice was as nonchalant as his face was. "I'll bring something." With that, he was out of the door, leaving Eren alone with his thoughts.

***

 Half hour later, they were both seated inside Levi's gray volvo and headed towards Eren's apartment complex. Eren was still young and couldn't afford to pay for his own car, so he would've normally taken the seven-thirty bus to get home. The middle-aged Levi, on the other hand, made a decent living from his job and could afford a little luxury. The cabin of the car was spacious and smelled fresh, there were no crumbs on the seats or trash on the floor. Levi had always been a clean freak to the point that Eren considered it unhealthy, but despite the urge to do so, he hadn't made any witty remarks towards his superior's probable OCD.

 Levi pulled up in the driveway and stopped the car. They both got out and Levi grabbed what looked like a conveniece store bag from the back seat. Eren could tell by the sound of glass bottles clashing together in the bag that the stuff was way above his price range. They made their way up the stairs and stopped by a door on the second floor. Eren fished for the keys in his pockets and managed to open the door despite his own nervousness and the sweatiness of his palms. As he flicked the lights on, Levi winced in disgust.

 "It's filthy."

 Eren looked apologetic. "Yeah, sorry, I don't have time to clean during the week." When Levi's brows narrowed even further in reaction to that, he quickly added "But we'll only be using the living room, right? So it's okay." Eren kicked off his shoes and hung his jacket on the coat rack. Levi removed his shoes carefully, almost gently, and stepped into the room.

***

 The bottle of whiskey was almost emptied and Eren was drunker than he'd ever been before. They had previously crashed at Levi's, so he'd needed to remain some of his composure so he could have gotten home later. Tonight, however, there was no need, since he wouldn't even need to get his lazy ass to the bedroom. 

 "Oi, brat, slow down, you're getting wasted." Levi wasn't nagging, Eren knew. It was a warning for him to slow down. "If you pass out too quickly, I'll have to drink this by myself." Eren raised his head to directly look at Levi, who was still wearing his work suit and looking down at his glass. It was almost empty, he decided, and reached out for the bottle. His eyes met Eren's, who was quite indecently staring him down. Levi sighed.

 "Why am I even drinking with you if you get drunk this fast?" He gave a slight, microscopic grin. "Well, it's not like I have anyone else to drink with, anyways."

 Eren hicced, "Whaddaya sayin' ?" Levi shot him a disinterested glare. "I'm not drunk!"

 "In that case, you're wasted."

 Eren took another drink from his glass and drained it from liquid. When he decided to reach out for the bottle, his hand was slapped away. 

 "No, you're drunk enough as it is."

 Eren had a dissapointed pout plastered to his face as he hicced again. "Al' righ, but just becas you're hawt."

 At the sound of these words, Levi tensed up. He placed his glass back on the wooden table. "What?"

 "Aye said dat I think you're hawt." Eren's hands were really droopy, he was dizzy, and his head spinned like a merry-go-round. His vision was blurry and he couldn't even comprehend the situation anymore. He had let his guard down. "You're always giving me yer shit, insulting me and shit," Eren hicced. "But I still think that you're really fuckin sexay and that I've always like.. watched ye and stuff."

 Levi winced "You're drunk, Yeager. You should be grateful that I'm not heartless enough to blame you for this on Monday." He stood up from his seat at the table. "I'm going to get a cab or something." Levi walked over to the door and put his shoes back on. With his back turned to Eren, he was about to make his exit when he felt a pair of hands slam into the wall on either sides of him. He turned over to see Eren's face, completely flushed, staring at the floor. 

 "The truth is.." Eren whispered in between his own loud panting. "That I've always, always..." 

 Levi's hand pressed down on the doorknob.

"...loved you."

 Levi's hands firmly shoved Eren down on the floor, away from himself. And as he slammed the door behind him shut, all that Eren could see was complete, utter disgust written all over his face.

 It was definitely game over for Eren.

 

 


	2. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so there you go, another chapter. I hope you all like this one better than the first one, which was quite boring, I think.  
> Anyway, some more characters are introduced and again the chapter is dialogue-heavy, but hopefully it's not too irritating.

On Saturday noon, Eren's eyes slowly fluttered open. At first he didn't understand what had happened. With eyes still hazy from sleep he scanned the apartment for clues. There were two emptied whiskey glasses on the kitchen table. He got onto all-fours and took a few deep breaths. Sharp pain shot through Eren's head, causing him to clutch it with his still trembling hands.

 Then the memories from last night flooded in. He immediately wished that they hadn't. A loud shriek escaped Eren's lips as he aggressively tousled his own hair. "You retarded shit!" Digging his fingers into his palms, Eren almost drew blood. His head hurt like hell and his actions the previous night had definitely crushed what faint relationship he had with Levi. Eren's face took a desperate form as he recalled Levi's disgust-filled face. Remembering the loud slam of the apartment door sent another jolt of pain through his skull. Fighting against his growing desire to collapse right back to the floor, Eren painfully stood up and made his way through the apartment.

***

 Monday was hell. He had gotten up in the morning, knowing that there was no way he could've avoided bumping into Levi at work and he hated it. Grudgingly, he took a shower, letting the cold water bite at his skin. Rubbing the dark bags under his eyes, Eren realized that since Friday he hadn't gone without a single night full of nightmares. He dozed off and cut himself twice while shaving, something that would've normally irritated him deeply. Today it just seemed like the most trivial thing ever. Looking in the mirror, Eren forced himself a painful half-smile and wished that he'd just drop dead right there.

 He got out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. After eating a weak breakfast and looking up at the clock, Eren got up with a loud sigh, slid into his jacket, put on his shoes and left the apartment.

 The three minute walk to the bus station wasn't even enough for him to concentrate on his thoughts.  Eren thought that it was a good thing.

***

 Arriving to work, Eren was immediately greeted with the usual hustle-bustle of the office. Familiar figures rushed by, and Eren thought he caught a glimpse of Sasha eating potato chips under the table but he shrugged it off. He just wanted to get his work done and get the fuck out of there as fast as possible. When he opened another office door, two familiar faces looked up at him.

 "Hey, Eren." Armin and Mikasa said simultanously. A bittersweet smile tugged at Eren's lips. Maybe the day wouldn't be so bad if those two were here to keep him company. Even if Levi did step by at some point, it's very unlikely that he'd mention anything in the presence of Armin and Mikasa, Eren thought to himself. Hanging his coat onto the coat rack, he decided to make conversation.

 "How were your weekends, guys?"

 Armin shrugged "It was okay, I guess." Mikasa followed with a nod "Mine was fine too. Actually the two of us were at the bar with Jean and Marco on Friday."

 Eren had just taken a seat by his desk but stiffened up after hearing these words. "Drinking, huh? Did you have fun?"

 Mikasa tweaked her scarf. It had been a present from him, Eren remembered. So long had passed since then that his memories of that time were quite hazy. They were only nine years old after all. 

 "Sure. We stayed until two or something."

 Armin looked up at the two and grinned at Eren. "You are never going to guess who showed up at 1 AM."

 "Hm?" Eren stared at the computer screen ligthing up. "Who?"

 "Your boss."

 Eren choked on his own breath and nearly fell over on his chair. Levi had gone to a bar? Levi? To a bar? At 1 AM? He was shot a few questioning looks by the other two, but before they could say anything, he managed to compose himself.

 "Is that so? Out of curiosity, what did he do?"

 Of course he hadn't told these two about his longing towards Levi. Even though there was unquestionably deep trust between the three, Eren feared how they would react. Fear of not being acknowledged by his best friends, who unconditionally loved and supported him had kept Eren with his secret for nearly three years. He hated himself for the thought and had planned to tell them at some point, he really had. But he figured that there would be no point in that now. Everything had collapsed with the passing of Friday. Eren felt his heart sink into his stomach and a nauseous feeling flushed over him.

 Armin and Mikasa exchanged worrying looks, but Mikasa spoke. "He stayed for about half an hour until he was completely wasted. After that he just sort of..left. Didn't meet up with anyone, didn't talk to anybody. " Eren clenched his fists.

 "It was almost like he.." hesistant to continue, her words faded out into the silent air.

 "He what?" Eren snapped.

 Shocked by his sudden reaction, Mikasa only shook her head. "No. It's nothing." The trio worked in silence until it was past noon and Eren decided to have his lunch break. He asked the other two if they wanted to join him in the cafeteria downstairs, which, upon seeing Eren's mood improve, they both willingly agreed to.

 It was a pretty decent cafeteria, and if you hadn't brought your own, the food on sale here was quite decent actually. The three of them made their way to the counter.

 "What are you going to get, Eren?" Armin eyed the menu and it seemed like he had a hard time deciding.

 "Ah," Eren mumbled. "I guess a tuna sandwich, probably." 

 "Sounds good, I'll get that too."

 In the end they had ordered two tuna sandwiches, a plate of crepes (for Mikasa, which the boys later on hungrily eyed) and three coffees to go with that. Their seating choice for the day was a four-seat table near the back. Eren looked around. The cafeteria wasn't particularly crowded, it never was. Most of the employees decided to eat in their offices, or not eat at all if they had shorter work hours. Eren had to insist to himself several times that Levi was not there and he wasn't going to show up.

 _He doesn't like crowded places, remember?_ Eren thought to himself.

_Yeah, but he went to that bar yesterday._

_It was probably because he didn't want to get drunk alone, and you were acting like a horny teenager,_

_Oh yeah._

_  
_So he shrugged that thought off and concentrated on his thoughts. About two minutes later, however, he heard a chair next to him sliding over the floor. Eren tensed up, but relaxed again when he was greeted by an enthusiastic female voice.

"Bon Appetit, everyone. Mind if I sit here very much?" No one objected and Sasha plopped down on the chair, ready to devour her waffles. Eren took another sip of his coffee and glanced at the clock. It was already past two. Only three more hours, he realized with a sudden wave of relief. Will he really be able to manage a day without seeing Levi at all? The seemingly impossible was slowly staring to become reality.

Until Eren's eyes met the figure of a shorter, raven-haired man stepping through the cafeteria doors. Eren let out a quiet whine. His three companions turned to face him.

 "What is it, Eren?" Mikasa asked with worry clearly evident in her tone and expression. 

 "It's.." Eren began, but then his eyes lingered on Levi once more and he froze upon seeing that his short, grumpy supervisor was accustomed by a tall, broad shouldered blonde man, who followed him around enthusiastically, Levi's mouth was occasionally moving. His thin lips were formulating words, Eren realized. He seemed to be enjoying himself too. Suddenly, Eren felt lucky to have a secretary sitting with him right now.

 "Hey, who's that?" he tried to sound casual about it, despite the irritation burning inside of him.

 Sasha looked over at where Eren's eyes had been just a moment ago. "Oh, you mean Irvin? Yeah, he transferred in today. Supposedly, he's the one that's going to replace our current CEO. I think Levi is showing him around or something, I heard they were pretty good friends."

  _Oh I see,_ Eren thought.  _Isn't that a bit too friendly though? Levi is usually so cold and now-_

His trail of thought was cut off suddenly by the two men bursting into laughter. Eren's entire body froze in incredulous shock and he had to contain himself to stay calm and not lose his shit on the spot.

 "Look who's showing some human emotion for once." Mikasa spat, only to be immediately scolded by Armin.

 "That's not nice, he'll hear you."

 "Tsk. Whatever."

 These words only further hurt Eren. He knew he and Levi weren't particularly close, but the older man had never laughed in his presence before. He stared into Levi's face, watching the corners of his lips turn into an arc that they never had before. 

 Levi turned his head for a moment, and his eyes met Eren's. After looking into Eren's rage-filled face for about a millisecond, he turned his gaze away.

 With bewilderment, Eren realized that this had been the first time that Levi had actually looked  **into** his eyes instead of  **at** them. Normally, it would have excited him so much.

 Right now, he just felt Levi's dissapointed eyes on him, even though the supervisor's gaze had already turned back to Irvin. Eren felt filthy. Abruptly he pushed himself away from the table and stood up, his fists clenched at his sides.

 "I'm not hungry anymore."

 The trio watched his reatreating figure as Eren left the cafeteria.

 His sandwich was untouched.

***

 Eren's heart was heavy, but he had mustered up the courage to counter Levi about Friday. He wanted to ask whether or not they could still remain friendly, even though he felt he already knew the answer to that question.  Also, Eren wanted to properly apologize for his inconsiderate behaviour. With all these goals now set right in front of him, Eren waited outside Levi's office. It was past six and everybody else had already left. But experience had shown him over the course of three years that Levi liked staying late. He wasn't in his room at the moment, but Eren knew he'd be arriving shortly.

 Soon enough, Levi got out of the elevator and turned the corner to find Eren leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. His initial reaction shocked Eren. Levi turned his head away from him and opened the door to his office. When he attempted to get inside, Levi's attempt was blocked by a taller and wider Eren.

 "We need to talk."

 Levi just stared at his eyes again. "I beg to differ." 

 Eren leaned on the door with his left hand. "Please, just.." he anxiously bit his lower lip "Let me explain, okay?"

 With one hard shove, Levi pushed Eren out of the doorframe. The latter almost stumbled over his own feet, but found balance again and turned to his superior once more.

 "So you don't love me, big fucking deal. Three years worth of my feelings have just gone to waste, who cares about that. But if you're going to ignore me just like this, I'm going to have some serious issues."  With those three sentences, Eren poured out everything that he felt. Everything that he had wanted to say just formulated in his mouth at the right moment. He was a bit bewildered when he saw Levi's frozen figure standing in the doorframe, facing away from him.

 "Just quit then." Levi's poisonous words found their way to Eren's heart and gnawed their way through, boring a hole inside.

 "What part of me is so unacceptable to you?" Eren almost screamt. Levi turned around to face him, and to make sure that his next words would reach Eren properly.

 "I'm not gay, Yeager." The shorter man's brows had narrowed and his eyes had grown darker.

 "How can you be so sure? Have you never even considered being with another man before?" 

 "Oh?" Levi's voice sounded a bit curious. Either that or riddled with sarcasm. "Well then, I'll give you a chance to convince me otherwise."

 Before Eren even had a chance to grasp the situation, Levi had walked up to him. The height difference was really obvious at times like these. Eren's eyes went wide open as his short, irritable boss grabbed a hold of the collar on Eren's shirt. WIth a quick yank, Levi pulled Eren closer, making him bend slightly, before joining their lips together in a hot embrace.

 The kiss was rough and dry. And Eren didn't completely understand the situation until Levi's tongue slid in between his slightly parted lips and entwined with Eren's. The latter finally grasped the moment and raised his hands to run them through Levi's hair. However, the kiss ended as suddenly as it started and he never got the chance to. Levi's face was covered in a faint flush and he was panting slightly. 

 Eren was brought back to reality by the harshness of Levi's hand as it wiped over his own mouth.

 "I wasn't convinced." WIth those words as bitter as venom, Levi closed the door behind him. Eren fell to his knees, trembling.

  _Despite the coldness of the constant glares he gives me, the kiss was warm, really warm,_ Eren realized as he let out a painful, suffocated whimper.


	3. Armin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to Armin with his troubles.
> 
> This is the point where the story gets slightly more"mature"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, it's really late and it's probably riddled with typos and grammatical errors. I'll try to work past them tomorrow. I just really wanted to upload today.  
> I'm thinking of some Levi's POV for the next chapter, so please look forward to reading that.

 As Eren painfully staggered out of the building that night, he knew that he had no intentions of returning back to his filthy, old apartment any time soon. Levi's taste still lingering on his dry lips had given Eren the confidence he so desperately needed. Despite his growing urge to crumble down onto the pavement right there and then, Eren fished for his phone in the pockets of his jeans. He took a deep, confirming breath and for a moment he really hesitated while glowering at the contact's list on the screen of his phone. Brushing the bitter doubts off his shoulder, he pressed his shaky thumb down on the first person on his list.

 Eren's throat went dry as the calling tone buzzed through his head. Maybe this is not such a good idea, was his last thought before a familiar voice picked up on the other side of the line.

 "Hello? Eren?"

 Tapping the sidewalk with the tip of his boot, Eren reluctantly opened his mouth.

 "Armin, where are you right now?"

 "At my apartment, why?"

 Anxiously, Eren began "I know it's like, what, seven already, but I really need to talk to you." Eren had finally decided to tell Armin and Mikasa about his feelings for Levi. The decision had come to him unexpectedly simply, following tonight's encounter when Eren realized that his feelings were not going to die down. That kiss was Levi's selfish way of pouring fuel to the flame, whether he himself was aware of it or not. However, he had decided to talk to Armin first, since Mikasa didn't particularly like Levi and she was very open about it whenever she could. If Eren were to explain it to her first, Mikasa just might've let her personal feelings get in the way of the issue. Eren knew that Armin would at least listen him out, even if he wouldn't approve. But honestly, at that moment everyone's approval didn't matter shit to Eren. He just needed to talk and get it out there.

 "Did something happen? Are you allright?" The blonde boy's voice was riddled with worry. "Do you want me to come over?"

 Eren shook his head at first, but then realized that Armin couldn't see him right now. He let out a small, but genuinely lighthearted chuckle. "No. Would it be cool if I dropped by your place instead?" He scratched the back of his neck. "I sort of don't want to go home right now. Besides, it would only be like a five minute walk from here anyway."

 "You're at the office?" Armin's voice sounded incredulous. "Why? No, nevermind, let's talk about that later. For now let me atleast meet you halfway."

 Eren's lips pulled a slight smile, He knew he could count on Armin. "Yeah, sounds good."

 After about a good three minutes of walking and taking in the city life in front of him with interest, Eren spotted Armin advancing in on him with a surprisingly fast pace. After the smaller man got a good look at his calm, slightly smiling face, his pace slowed down and the clealry evident worry on his face was replaced by a sincere grin. When the two finally met, Armin, despite being shorter than Eren, placed an assuring hand on his shoulder and greeted him warmly before they started heading towards Armin's apartment.

 "I've been worried about you recently." Armin finally spoke after about a minute of good, heartwarming silence. Eren looked at his friend in exaggerated awe.

 "What an incredibly Mikasa thing to say." They both bursted into laughter and Armin smiled, looking relieved.

 "That's what I'm talking about. You never crack stupid jokes or laugh like that anymore." The blonde boy's expression fell, and he turned to look at Eren. "That's why I want to know what has been bothering you recently."

 Eren sighed. Armin had always been really clever and it was no wonder that he had already caught on. The question was, how much had he already figured out. So, instead of denying or agreeing to his best friend's words, Eren said "I want to know what you think that happened?"

 They went over a crosswalk and Armin let out a thoughtful hum. Whether Eren knew it or not, Armin was contemplating exactly how subtle he should be about the subject in matter.

 "Well, it has something to do with your boss and while I'm not a hundred percent sure, I have a few theories."

 Eren playfully tousled Armin's hair. "Of course you do." The smaller boy was a bit taken aback by the sudden touch.

 "What are we, in grade school?" Despite saying that, there was a relieved smile plastered all over Armin's face. He was happy to finally be able to be Eren's friend again. Something that had become difficult for them after graduating high school. Until only recently, Armin didn't have the slightest idea that Levi was the reason behind Eren's somberness all along.

 The boys got in front of the apartment complex faster than they had expected and Armin had the keys in his grip before they could even approach the door properly. Quietly making their way up the stairs, Eren realized with jelaousy that Armin's apartment had definitely cost more than his. The corridor was clean and the paint on the walls looked relatively fresh too.  Armin looked over the shoulder as Eren followed him further up the stairs.

 "Isn't this only like the second time you've been here?" 

 Eren was slightly bewildered. "Shit, you're right. I guess I've been really busy, huh." 

 Armin only nodded at that. "Well, anyway, we're here." he said a bit awkwardly and unlocked the door, flicking on the light switch. As the ceiling lamp cast light over the room,  Eren found himself to be a bit shocked. He had remembered coming here before, but that time he had only helped Armin unload and carry some of the bigger boxes. Eren was amazed at all the tasteful, expensive-looking furniture.

 "Armin, how could you possibly afford all of this?" Eren looked at Armin, who was a bit bewildered to find out that Eren didn't remember.

 "You don't know?" When Eren dumbfoundedly shook his head, the smaller man began to talk.

 "Well, I'm sure you remember about that dream I had while we were in middle school. How I wanted to travel the world." He paused for a moment to look for signs of confirmation on Eren's face and felt relieved when the taller boy nodded. "I'm sure you remember that I got a part-time job during that time and I actually worked until graduation. At some point I realized that I was never going to get near enough money to travel the world in such a short time on such a small job, but I kept working anyway, simply because I had already gotten used to it and well, there wasn't anything else in particular that I had wanted to do. I didn't really need the money for anything, so after graduation I discovered that I had kept all of my savings, and used that money for the apartment and furniture you see here now. "

 "It's really nice." Eren pointed out.

 "Yeah, it is." Armin smiled bittersweetly, recalling his dreams and hopes from the past that he never could fulfill.

 Eren made his way to the living room and sat down on the couch, crossing his ankles. Armin stood by the doorframe, expectingly.

 "Do you want anything to drink?"

 "Coffee would be nice. No milk, though."

 

 

***

 Armin came back from the kitchen with two steaming mugs in hands. Eren inhaled the smell and wondered when was the last time that he had someone else make coffee for him. Gratefully, he accepted one of the mugs and held it between his palms for a good minute. The heat almost burned his skin, but it felt good, it felt alive. 

 The blonde boy had taken a seat at the other end of the couch, and was now looking back at Eren with curiosity flashing in his eyes. Eren took the first sip from the mug.

 "So, about your theories.." Armin knew that he had to talk now, but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth. Anxiously, he bit his lip. For months, he had been awaiting this conversation but now he just couldn't get his lips to open. Armin had a doubt that if he didn't speak now, the topic would be avoided again. For some reason Eren had finally decided to talk, and Armin was happy that he was the first person on his mind. He didn't want to fuck this up. The blonde adverted his gaze to the parquet floor, and silently spoke the words that he had wanted to say for so long.

 "Eren do you..perhaps have feelings for Levi?" Afraid to look, Armin gingerly turned his head. To the smaller man's surprise, Eren was still holding the mug, his expression was scarily calm. 

 "Yes." His reply had been almost instant, and he had kept his eyes in front of him the entire time. However, after he had confirmed Armin's doubts, Eren turned to look at his friend. There was a sad smile plastered all over his face. Armin thought if the tone in his voice as he had asked the question had something to do with it.

 "Do you resent me now?" Eren asked. His throat was dry again. Levi's taste on his lips had been washed away by the bitter taste of coffee. He felt vulnerable again.

 Armin inhaled sharply. "What are you talking about, Eren?" There was panic clearly evident in his voice. "No! I could never... And the truth is, I've had a hunch for a little while now." He scooted closer to Eren, placing his hands firmly on the taller man's shoulders and squeezing lightly. Eren's body relaxed a bit against the touch.

 "How can you even think that I could ever resent you, Eren?" Armin's voice was quiet and careful. "All this time, you've been miserable, but you never said anything." A small tear ran down along Armin's cheek as a sign of emotional release. "I was..I mean, we both were really worried about you. Why didn't you say anything, Eren? Why did you decide it was best to keep us in the dark?"

 "Because I'm ashamed of myself." Eren curtly replied. "It's..really stupid actually."

 "I'm taking that he doesn't like you back, then." 

 "Yeah, that's right." Eren took another sip of coffee, feeling the hot liquid flush down his throat. "Remember how on Friday, you said that you saw him at the bar?" 

 Armin nodded.

 "Well, the truth is.. he came from my place." Eren sighed and rubbed his temples. "I did something really stupid, and he was probably pissed at me."'

 His trembling hands were soon found by Armin, who took them between his palms. A reassuring signal for Eren to continue.

 "After you left the office, he came up to me and asked if I wanted to drink with him that night. I agreed and everything was stable until I got drunk. I got really, really drunk. Had the worst hangover too." Eren's face had turned dark with an evil sneer. "I made a move on him while I was wasted and ended up telling him my feelings." Eren's hands trembled in Armin's palms as he spoke his next words.

 "The look on his face when he left.." Ashamed of himself, Eren buried his face into their entwined hands and let out a small whimper. They stayed in that position for a good five minutes, before Eren was ready to continue. Armin quietly rubbed his friend's back, while taking in all the information that he had yearned for. He was happy that Eren was being open with him for once, but at the same time he felt like he was pressing him for answers.

 "I still don't know why," Eren quietly began, raising his head. "but he kissed me."

 Armin's eyes widened in shock. "W-what? He did? When?"

 "About half an hour ago. I went to apologize for acting so stupid the other night, but I actually blew up in his face, because his words really stung. I ended up questioning his sexuality and he said that he would let me prove him otherwise. That's when he kissed me."

 Armin smiled. "Then it's alright, isn't it? He obviosuly likes you back."

 "No." Eren snapped. "It wasn't like that. After it was over, he just..oh god..he wiped his mouth and said that he wasn't conviced. " Eren really felt that tears were going to spring out of his eyes any moment now. He lowered his head into his palms, covering himself up from Armin's eyes. The latter looked at Eren in disbelief.

 "That sounds really fishy. Why would he just randomly make out with you?"

 Eren's face heated up at the memory that he didn't want to stir. "I really don't know. I just wish that he hadn't done that." Painfully, he forced himself to look at Armin. "Would you mind if I stayed here for the night?" Armin shook his head.

 "Not at all. Please get comfortable. Besides, it never hurts to have company, right?" Armin smiled genuinely. "And don't worry. We don't need to talk about Levi if you don't want to."

 There was still something. Something that Eren had wanted to ask since the beginning. Something that he absolutely needed to know. 

 "Are you absolutely sure that you're comfortable with me talking to you about these things, Armin? I don't want you to feel weird or anything." 

 Armin pressed his palms together around Eren's hands. His hands were smaller than Eren's and his fingers were sleeker, but at moments like these Armin could really feel that his hands were exactly where they were supposed to be. He wanted to watch over Eren, like Eren had watched over him when they were only children. He truly wanted to protect Eren, and it hurt him to see Eren so devastated.

 "Absolutely not. I **want** you to rely on me, Eren. If you have any troubles, no matter how big or small they might be, I want to listen to these problems and help you deal with them."  Eren, taken aback by Armin's sudden hearty words, could only grin at his best friend in relief and happiness. They had trusted each other so deeply during their school years.

 Eren felt it all returning to him.

 

***

_"Eren." Someone's voice was calling out to him. Eren looked around him in confusion. There was nobody there._   _But then who's voice had called out to him in such a sweet, sweet tone?_

_"Eren." The voice was deep and husky, and strangely familiar, but Eren couldn't put his finger on it._

_The floor was reflecting back at him. The walls were all mirrors too, Eren realized. When he gingerly took the first step towards the voice, the glass(or was it water?) underneath his feet began flickering. His confused footsteps left a trail of dark footprints meandering behind him._

_Eren really wanted to meet that voice. He so desperately wanted to see that person. He yearned for a touch, a whisper, anything._

_"Come to me, Eren." There was a lascivious tone in the voice. The boy wanted to embrace that voice. Embrace it to the end of the world and beyond that._

_As soon as he was prepared to take what he felt was the last step, everything turned dark._

_A horrifying, blood-shrieking scream reverberated around Eren. The floor was covering in cracks._

_Not water, not glass, Eren thought. Ice._

_The ice beneath him crumbled and shattered into millions of sharp, tiny pieces that cut through Eren's skin. The boy shrieked in pain and found himself twisting in mid-air. The void of emptiness was all around him, he was falling through the void._

_The fall seemed to last for a century. Or a millisecond. Eren's thoughts were so outspread everywhere, he had absolutely no idea what was going on._

_"Jaeger." The voice's return made Eren gasp in both excitement and anticipation._

_"Where are you? I want to see you."_

_"Oh really?" the voice sneered. "Then come to me, Eren." And suddenly there was incredible softness under Eren's toes as he found himself again. The floor on this level was covered with feathers. It felt ticklish and warm. There were butterflies fluttering in Eren's abdomen, filling him with such ecstatic joy that the boy almost squealed. The voice was directly above him now, Eren could feel it. But still, that person wasn't nowhere to be found._

_"I can show you the endless possibilities of my eternal love, Eren." Suddenly, a strong hand reached out to Eren._

_"What will happen to me if I choose to take your hand within mine?" Eren whispered softly. He was dying to find out himself, so without even waiting for an answer, he grabbed onto that hand and felt himself jerking forward._

_Eren looked around. The floor was now out of stone bricks. It was hard and cold under his bare legs, and it hurt even more than the ice had. There was a figure standind further in the darkness. Eren wanted to reach out to that person, to let them know that he had finally come for them. But his movements were cut short by heavy chains binding him down to the hard ground. The figure moved. It was a small movement, but albeit it had moved. A mysterious sigh echoed in the darkness._

_Then, the figure was gone and Eren gasped for air as a pair of hands snaked around his chest. Eren groaned from the excitement of the sudden touch. Looking down, Eren saw that the hands were small, yet strong, and the fingers were long and sleek. Also, the fingernails were freakishly long. So, so long._

_Eren yelped in pain as the fingernails raked over his bare chest, drawing blood like a trail behind them._

_"Why are you doing this?" Eren cried. "Weren't you going to show me the possibilities of your love?" He didn't understand. It wasn't supposed to be like this._

_"I just want you to hold me." Eren whimpered. The voice echoed all around him._

_"Do you know who I am?"_

_Eren only shook his head._

_"Stupid brat. Look, you're all drenched. Gross."_

_Eren looked down to see that his chest and abdomen were indeed, drenched in his own blood. "You did this," he hissed at the voice._

_"No, you came to me yourself."_

_The hands slid into Eren's pants and the boy let out a loud moan. He shivered and completely submitted to the touch before a realization hit him like a slap across the face._

_"I know who you are."_

_The cold fingers squeezed his groin and a whine escaped from Eren's lips._

_"Try saying it. Try saying my name, you little shit."  Eren felt the man's breath on his neck. This wasn't reality. It couldn't be. "Le..le-..Le-!"_

_The grip intensified. "L-let go. Please.."_

_"Say my fucking name!"_

_The pain had become unbearable at this point. Not just his crotch, but the entirety of Eren's body felt like it was on fire. He inhaled a sharp breath._

_"Stop it, Levi!" Eren screamed at the top of his lungs, before crumbling down on the ground. The hands had released him and the figure was now standing in front of Eren._

_His beautiful defined face basked in light. Eren watched in terror as Levi snapped two of his fingers and then dissapeared completely into smoke and shadow. The dream walls around him shook in unison and collapsed into pieces of ice, feathers and stone. Eren fell through the floor, trying desperately to find an object to grab onto. But to no avail. Before he would be completely devoured by the darkness, familiar words cut like knives through air._

_"I'm not convinced,"_

_  
_Another loud scream reverberanted through the apartment.

 _  
_"Eren! Eren, Jesus Christ, Eren!"

 Eren's eyes snapped wide open and for a moment all he could hear was the echo of Levi's words in his head. Then he realized that he was still sleeping on the couch in Armin's apartment. The next thing he knew was that someone shook him by the shoulders.

 "Snap out of it, Eren!"

 "Armin.." The sudden hotness in his face made Eren bury his face into the sweaty palms of his hands. 

 "Eren," Armin's face softened. "Why are you crying?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, if the nightmare part sounded either rushed or really unlogical. I tried so hard for you guys.


	4. Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Levi to finally come to terms with his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter comes from Eren's dream in the previous chapter. I like thinking that there are three levels to Eren and Levi's relationship. Ice, Feathers, Stone.
> 
> Basically, this chapter is Levi breaking out of the ice.
> 
> Enjoy!!

 The door shut closed heavy behind him. Exhaling sharply, Levi made his way to his desk, somehow managing to keep his never-ending cool in the process. The pointy tips of his slender fingers brushed over the documents laid on top of the smooth board. And for a moment he was actually thinking of sitting down and getting some work done, but how exactly would he be able to prioritize work at this moment? The breaths he took (or attempted to take anyway) were sharp and disrupted. In annoyance, Levi raised his hand to rub his aching temples.

 Eren Yeager's indecency was getting out of hand. In fact, it was getting out of hand to the point where Levi had seriously considered trying to get Eren fired. The thought seemed good and all until he realized that it wouldn't be quite that simple. He would've needed a presentable reason first, but there would be no way that he could tell anyone, especially Irvin, about Yeager's little confession. And he sure as hell wasn't going to lie. It was a fact that anyone but him would've laughed at or just disregarded, but despite all the things he was, Levi was not a dishonest man. He was also not someone who would just suddenly stab you in the back or lie to save his own skin. Those kind of people were everything that Levi despised.

 So why was he so willing to cast aside all his beliefs and morals for someone as trivial as Eren Yeager?

 Heck, he barely even knew the kid. They were on better terms than Levi was with most of the other workers, but it would've been far too hasty to call them friends. The few evenings that they had gone drinking on before were nothing significant either.

 Levi liked to think of himself as an observative person. It was usually so easy for him to read emotions right from people's faces, while hiding his own with flawless perfection. However, he hadn't even suspected that Eren was having these kinds of feelings towards him and the unawareness had shocked him to the point that he had to go and get wasted immediately after leaving Eren's apartment. Levi had been truly shocked to the point that he just wished to forget. Just drink his memories away and wake up the next day with no recognition whatsoever. But of course that wasn't going to happen. Because reality is a bitch like that.

 His gaze now moved from the papers to his fingers that were still resting on the tabletop. His nails were still nicely shaped, but it was clearly evident that they were shorter than he would've normally liked. Running his free hand through his hair that was now messy from the encounter just minutes ago, Levi reluctantly accepted the truth that he had in fact chewed his nails because of that fucking Yeager kid. Despite it having been really gross and messy, the feeling of his nails cracking under his teeth had provided the man with some much needed relief. Sighing, Levi realized that at this rate he was definitely going to start smoking again, but he was absolutely not going to let that come into his life again.

 Why was he getting so freaked out anyway? It's not like he hadn't been in a relationship before, but-

 None of them had been with another man.

 Levi knew that Eren was so entranced with him at this moment that if he wanted he could get an easy fuck out of the kid. The thought had barely crossed his mind, but Levi shaked it off in disgust. Fuck no, he thought. First of all, relationships between co-workers were strictly prohibited. And secondly, he sure as hell wasn't gay. Nope nope nope. Definitely not. 

 But then why had he felt so vulnerable under Eren's touch? Why had he felt so hot when their lips crushed together? And why, when their tongues entwined, did he feel so-

_Don't you fucking dare think that out loud._

_  
_..needy?

 Levi inhaled a sharp, ragged breath and felt his face flush red. "Damn it."

 During the short few seconds that their lips had met, Levi knew that he had yearned for more. The thought disgusted him and he had pulled away before losing himself, before succumbing to the brat. Heh, he even had the composure for one more venomous remark before retreating into his office. He had been so proud of that, but now Levi just felt like shit. A little bit of guilt flashed in his darkened eyes. The experience had been frightening for him, but if Yeager was really as head-over-heels as Levi thought, this..this had probably been really tough on him.

 That must have been when the humane side of Levi awakened. He abruptly jerked away from the desk and turned his head to gaze at the door.

 He had no idea what he was going to say, but

He had to say something. Taking no time to actually consider what to say, his hand wrapped around the knob and yanked it open with unbelievable force.

 "Eren!" was all that escaped from his lips before looking around, taking in the scene unfolded before him.

 While he had been busy cringing in the office, getting all hot and bothered over some worthless brat, Levi hadn't even heard the pair of somber footsteps retreating and evenutally fading away.

 The hallway was empty. Eren had already left.

 Levi grumbled under a sharp, annoyed exhale. Pressing his back against the metal door, his palm reached to his face and he rubbed his temples tiredly.

  _Fuck this,_ he finally decided and retreated back to the office, just to pull on his coat. He was definitely done for the night.

 When Levi stepped out of the building into the cold autumn air, he contemplated whether or not he should head home for the night or step by the grocery store. Soon enough the man came to a conclusion that he wasn't hungry and decided to go home anyway. Reaching his volvo and pulling the door closed, Levi lazily started up the engine. The gray Volvo purred soothingly and soon enough Levi felt his shoudlers relax and his grip on the wheel soften. With a tired sigh, he backed out of the parking lot and onto the main road. For a brief moment, his eyes flicked over the street and he was met with his demons once again.

 Eren Yeager was walking down the street to his right.

 Levi thought it was unfortunate that there was a traffic jam at the moment, even though his eyes kept lingering on Eren and the smaller, blonde haired boy walking beside him. Levi immediately recognized him as Armin Arlert - one of the company's accountants. They seemed to be enjoying themselves. 

 Yeager smiled at Arlert and reached to ruffle his hair.

 Levi felt his hands clench the wheel to the point his knuckles turned white from the pressure. Bewildered look upon his face, he looked down at his hands.

 "Why?" He asked himself, voice dry, still taken aback by his reaction. Gingerly, he turned his head to look again.

 The smaller boy seemed to be flustered, but was obviously having fun.

  _So Yeager has a lover after all._ Levi snorted, but it came out sounding more like a suffocated groan. Of course Levi couldn't have been serious to think that Yeager really did like him. Levi was almost forty now, while Eren was only barely legal. Obviously, he would be seeing someone his own age. Someone young and determined and energetic. It was only natural. _  
_

 Levi's jaw clenched as Eren and his company dissapeared behind the corner.

 

*

He glared at the bright red digits gleaming in his vision, staring at him, judging.

 It was almost midnight. Levi rubbed his temples because his eyelids were heavy and tired. The bedsheets under him were clean and tidy, but unreasonably cold. He was sure that the AC was set to the usual temperature. Was he getting sick? He had shifted and turned for almost two hours now, and it was clearly evident that sleep was not going to come to him tonight. Redundant luxury, he supposed. 

 He was going to get up. He was going to get up, make himself a cup of coffee, and then he would think about his errands for tomorrow. His paperwork, his assignments, his duties.

 What he was not going to think about is how he had shamelessly jerked off to the image of Eren Yaeger's panting, flushed face just hours ago. He was not going to think about what Eren would sound like once he was inside of him, roughing him up. He was absolutely not going to think about how the younger man would twitch and shudder and moan his name. Whether or not his moaning would wake everyone in the complex, get everyone's attention. Let them know what was going on between these walls.

 Levi winced, the corner of his left eye twitching in irritation.

  _Fuck the coffee._ He thought and turned to the other side, gathering the blanket into his fists and pulling it tighter around himself.  _Shit, it's really cold. Is the AC broken again?_ Reluctantly, Levi sat up in the bed, pushing the blanket off and feeling the cold sensation of wooden parquette under his bare feet. It was  _fucking freezing._ Walking over to the AC that was fixtured just above the door of his bedroom, Levi realized that it was in fact, not broken. Warm air gushed out of the device like it usually did. Nothing special was wrong with it. Except the fact that it was a little dated, perhaps. Deciding that he would need that coffee anyway, Levi exited his bedroom and made his way to the kitchen. Flicking on the lights, he groaned. The light hurt his eyes like hell, but more importantly, this part of the apartment seemed even colder, if that was possible.

_Could Eren be asleep right now?_ Levi pondered, hands slightly trembling around the mug. He didn't like how things were turning out, but he wasn't an idiot. The fact that he definitely had feelings for Eren had been slowly gnawing at him the entire evening, since he had seen Eren together with Arlert, going in a direction Levi knew was away from Eren's apartment. 

 He shook his head. No use in thinking about it now. He had no idea why exactly Eren had confessed to him. At least it couldn't have been out of sincere feelings. Between Eren and Arlert lay something more than a good, long-lasting friendship and it could be seen with a naked eye. Levi resented himself for hating the thought. If Eren and Arlert were an item, he couldn't do much about it.

 Levi bit his lip.

 But he wanted to make sure. Just in case.

 He reached for his phone on the table. It was unlikely that Eren was awake now, but that was probably decided by the two factors "who was he with" and "what was he doing" Levi shuddered. He felt jelaous, he realized to his own dismay, but didn't put the phone down either. If Eren was sleeping, he would still see Levi's text message in the morning, right? They could probably talk things over in private during lunch break when they were careful. 

 Levi typed his first message.

"Are you awake now?" Incredibly curt for a message that was supposed to be a prelude to his confession. Levi's face darkened when a reply was sent barely two minutes later.  _Shit._ He hadn't really thought that much ahead. This was making him flustered like some horny teenager, but judging by the way that he was responding to all of  _this,_ it would be an understatement to say that he was exactly like one.

 "I am now."  _What a fucking brat_ Levi muttered, but formulated a response anyway.

 "We are going to meet up and talk. Where are you right now so I can come and pick you up"

 "It's past midnight." 

 Levi groaned.

"I have a clock, turdface. I wasn't asking you nicely either."

"Can it wait?" There was a short pause after that before a second message was sent.

"Is it about what happened today?"

  _Inhale._

_  
_"Yes. Now hurry up and tell me the adress before I change my mind."

"All right."

_Exhale._

_  
_Eren texted the adress with minor directions in about five minutes and with a pleasant surprise, Levi realized that it wasn't awfully far and the building -Arlert's house, rather- was just a few streets away from work.

 When he left his apartment at nearly 0:30, Levi's heart was full of hope, but there was no way that he was truly going to admit that.


	5. Sea of feathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets really really gropey, and literally gets punished, but not in a sexy way.  
> Also, Levi saying 'fuck' alot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses for being this late asdfghjkl so sorry  
> so have a longer chapter :D

 2 days earlier. Saturday 10:23

 

“Ugh, my fucking head is killing me. Why did you drag me out here on a Saturday morning?”

The (only slightly) older man's hands folded together under his well-defined jaw and the man gave his long unseen friend a kind smile. It had been so long since they last had a chance to sit like this and make casual talk that the situation seemed almost awkward.

“Rough night?”

The raven-haired man glared back at him with the usual sleep-deprived eyes. He was leaning back in his chair, arms folded across his small chest, looking as irritated as ever. Also, he seemed to be suffering from a severe hangover. How unusual, the blonde mused.

“What's it to you?” the other man sighed, rubbing his temples. “I haven't seen your retarded face in like three years and when you finally show up, you won't stop beating around the bush.” 

The blonde let out a deep chuckle.

“Still the same antisocial hermit, I see?” 

“Stop fucking around, Irvin.” Levi grumbled, head still far too thick to grasp the situation in it's entirety. Irvin, his old co-worker, was back in town after Levi hadn't seen him for a whole three years and he just happened to want to meet up randomly on a Saturday morning. What's worse is that he'd summoned Levi without any warning whatsoever. And it just happened that the latter was experiencing the worst hangover of his life, for one reason or another that he'd really rather not talk about.

“There has to be a reason why you've suddenly decided to show up, and judging by that god damn glint in your eyes, I'm not going to like what I'm about to hear.”

Irvin shrugged, waving his hand around, as if trying to assure Levi that he's not up to anything particularly suspicious.

“More importantly, shall we make an order?”

“Ir-”

“Coffee or tea, which would you prefer?”

“Hold-”

“Ah, black coffee it is, then?”

“ _Oh.my.god_.” Levi breathed. “Were you always this fucking persistent? How the hell does your wife put up with you?”

Irvin, blankly staring at Levi, blinked no more than twice and there was a short period of uncomfortable silence, during which Levi was starting to scan the cafeteria for a suitable escape route. His attention, however, was directed back to the older man as soon as the latter's usual clever smirk was replaced with something more complex, something that Levi couldn't quite put a finger on.

“Petra, she..” Irvin's voice faded midway through the sentence and it actually seemed like he was trying his best to regain composure again.

“We're not together anymore.”

Levi's eyes widened in disbelief. Irvin Smith and his ever so loyal, loving wife Petra Smith - Levi recalled their wedding day, which was still fresh in his mind. These two had seemed so happy, they had that “meant for eachother” chemistry bullshit going on that you usually see in shitty hollywood movies, but never actually believe in. Levi had believed so strongly that even if these two would ever become to walk separate paths, it would be in the far future. Obviously no one would ever have guessed that their marriage would end up lasting no more than four short years.

Levi wanted to smack Irvin against the head with a chair, but decided against it.

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.”

Irvin, lifting an eyebrow, only replied with a curt “Don't mention it.”

A waitress came around to take their order, and Levi zoned out, not even bothering to have a say in what exactly it was that Irvin was planning to make him drink. It also didn't matter that the taller man was obviously going to pay for the whole caboodle, like he usually would. A fact that only years ago would irritate the hell out of Levi, but today he just felt like Irvin definitely _had to pay_ , for dragging him out here and making him listen to all his bullshit. And then there was obviously something else, a bomb that Irvin had yet to drop on Levi, something that Levi was already mentally preparing himself for. He knew it was coming soon, it was only a matter of time when.

“Is my coming back really that opposing of a thought to you?” Irvin finally spoke, voice overly quiet for Levi's liking and the smaller man focused his attention on Irvin again . He let out a yielding sigh, resting his head on his hands.

“Not really.”

The waitress returned with two black coffees and Levi felt relieved when he found the fragrance of the steaming coffee actually pleasant to his nostrils. He was just about to reach for the cup when Irvin spoke up again.

“I'm kind of relieved that we'll be getting more chances to talk like this from now on.” his shoulders relaxed a little as the warm cup connected with his lips. Levi snorted.

“This conversation seems awfully restrained for a friendly chat.”

“That's simply because you're making this harder than it should be.” Irvin retored curtly. His eyes didn't leave Levi's face for once, but his mind seemed to be wandering further away. 

There's that glassy look in his eyes again, Levi realized and immediately said :

“Just say what you've got to say already so that we can get this over and done with.”

The older man let out an exasperated sigh and entwined his fingers on the table. Levi's shoulders tensed up, suspense was sizzling in the air. Nothing good could possibly come of this, Levi thought. 

“Very well. If you insist.” 

And he was right.

“Starting Monday, I'm going to be assigned into position at the SC head office in Trost.”

Levi blinked his eyes exactly twice. No more, no less. And he blinked _hard._

“What?”

“Dot Pixis will be retiring soon, I'm sure you've heard.” Irvin sounded _almost_ quilty, but there wasn't even a single hint of remorse plastered across his perfectly composed facial features.

“I'm going to be taking over the company.”

 

 

Present day. Tuesday 00:56

 

Levi kept messing with the radio. It wasn't like the songs were particularly shit or anything. It was more like the massive flood of incoming thoughts kept bothering him to the point where he needed a distraction, and he needed it bad. 

Finally, when having switched through the same channels for three times, he settled for nervously tapping his fingers against the driving wheel, afraid that he'd probably crash if his attention were to be directed anywhere but the road for another second. Instead, he turned the radio off completely, and started humming an old tune that had been stuck in his head for a long time now. He couldn't even remember the lyrics to that song any more.

Shortly after, Levi stopped at a red light and glared at the pedestrians crossing the road venomously. He was about to mumble something about the people “taking their sweet fucking time.”, but his attention was caught by a young father hurrying across the road, his infant son's hand firmly clenched in his bigger one. Levi's lips cracked open ever so slightly.

The father had a calm, assuring look in his eyes. He looked like the kind of person who knew exactly what he was doing, despite his young age. The son looked at his father in a loving, admiring manner. The toddler was constantly stumbling on the road under his feet, but despite that he never lost the enthusiasm. Anyone who saw these two would have said that this child would definitely follow his father anywhere he went.

Levi felt a lump starting to form in his throat when he realized that he was so much older than Eren. He could practically be his father. Eren hadn't even been born yet when Levi went through his first successful job interview and got a chance to work with the big dogs at SC headquarters. He was a true veteran, he had never had any other jobs, he went through college specifically to get his preferred job.

Eren, however, was still young and inexperienced. A relationship with someone like Levi would be unthinkable. Levi bit his lip, hard. The metal taste of blood hit his tongue and he winced in disgust. He's supposed to be Eren's supervisor. It's his job to watch after him, teach him, prevent him from doing stupid shit. But now this shitty brat is causing him all this trouble and HOLY FUCK HE WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO CONFESS HIS FEELINGS FOR HIM.

Levi was so startled by his own trail of thoughts, he almost instinctively pushed the break. His leg stopped inches away from causing a horrible chain wreck and he inhaled sharply.

“I'm not possibly thinking of actually going through with this, am I?” He asked himself, taking a look in the rear-view mirror. The reflection stared back with eyes full of dread, horror and disgust. A gut-wrenching mix of these three made Levi sick to the stomach. The reflection was grinning at him, spitting in his face, mocking him. He was judging Levi because he was in love with a child.

“It's legal.” Levi hissed at the reflection, but the latter's expression stayed as disgusted as before. “He's a mature adult, who can decide for himself whatever he wants.” Levi knew that he was only trying to convince himself now, desperately trying to find a solid excuse for his actions.

“It's up to him whether he chooses to be with me or not. I'm not _pressuring_ him to do anything.”

Levi gripped the wheel tighter and turned a corner, pulling in front of Arlert's house. For a quick second he wondered if Arlert really made enough money to live in a middle-class apartment like this, but his trail of thought faded as soon as his gaze attached onto a dark silhouette standing just a few feet from the door. No doubt it was Eren, as the figure started to gingerly approach the car. Levi lowered the window when Eren bent over to look inside.

“Hey.” Eren said quietly, voice a little hoarse, one hand resting on the car roof. 

“Eren.” Levi nodded, trying to appear composed but obviously failing. Every nerve in his body was twitching. “Get in.”

The younger man's hand moved up to the nape of his neck. “You know...you should just say what you wanted to say. It seems kind of pointless to drive anywhere at this hour.”

Levi glared up at Eren. “Just get in the car,” hesitating, he added “please.”

Eren's eyes stared directly into Levi's incredulously. For him, hearing the older man say something like that was a first. Without another word, he walked around the car, opened the door to the passenger seat and got in as quietly as possible. Sighing deeply, he finally opened his mouth again.

“So, where are we going?”

Levi was humming that tune again, and all Eren could think about was how attractive the other man was, even in the dim street light where he could barely make out the contours of his face. How silky his voice sounded, humming that tune which seemed so familiar to Eren, despite not being able to recall any of the actual lyrics.

Without turning his eyes from the street, Levi retorted coldly “Just a bit further from here, I wouldn't want your boyfriend to accidentally hear what I'm about to tell you.”

Eren's eyes widened in shock “M-my what?”

Levi raised an eyebrow “You heard me.”

“Armin's not- we're not like that! How the hell did you even come to that conclusion?” Desperately yelling, Eren knew there had been some kind of a misunderstanding, perhaps a fatal one.

Letting out an unamused chuckle, Levi finally looked at Eren for a brief second before removing the brake and taking off. “The way that boy clings to you doesn't seem characteristic to too many adult friendships.”

Eren blinked at the older man. “We've been friends since very long ago, basically from birth. I guess some of the older habits never go away. I think it's perfectly normal for close friends to be...like that with each other.” There was a short pause, during which Eren thought about what he had just said. “Well, maybe it's a little odd, but it can't be helped. Besides, when were you watching us anyway?” Turning his head to Levi, the younger man shot him a questioning look.

Trying to seem disinterested, Levi nonchalantly retorted “I just happened to notice. Don't think I was spying after you, self-centered brat.”

Eren's jaw clicked open. “Levi,” The shorter man shot a quick, nervous look at him from the corner of his eye.

“Are you jelaous?” Eren finally finished, and as soon as the words left his mouth, Levi took a sudden right turn and the car turned into a parking lot of some random convenience store. Levi's leg slammed the brake so hard, the car jerked in it's place and Eren jumped a little.

“Now listen here, you fucking shitty brat.” Levi was furious. His eyes were burning with hate, partly because he knew Eren had been right. Eren had been right all along, and he had just been ignorant. 

“What the fuck gives you the right to think you can just say anything your retarded brain comes up with?” Levi's mouth was basically spitting venom, but Eren didn't mind. His throat was still hoarse and he swallowed slowly, digesting the thought of a possible breakthrough – right here, right now.

“First of fucking all, I am not gay. I've been with plenty of women before and there is no such possible scenario in the universe in which a dick will enter my body. You just have your head so far up your ass-”

“Then, why did you kiss me?” Eren demanded, now quite loud. Both men had raised their voices and it seemed like the situation was getting really ugly.

However, Levi's jaw clicked together at that and his previous expression faded as quickly as it had appeared. He was out of words, he admitted to himself. His two choices now were to either stay quiet and see how things turn out, or to just admit to Eren that he had been curious as to what the younger's lips tasted like. Both of these choices meant him admitting defeat, this was just a matter of how he wanted to go about it. 

But there was no need for him to decide. Before Levi could even properly grasp the situation, Eren lunged himself at the older man and pressed his lips sloppily onto Levi's, wrapping his arms around the man's waist.

Levi gasped sharply into the kiss, his fingernails digging into his palms. His body was tense from the shock of being assaulted in his own car. This was not what he had meant by talking, not at all.

Eren's fingers entwined into Levi's hair, like he'd wanted to do earlier, in the office. His tongue quickly dominated the older man's, and, satisfied with his work, let his hands roam freely down Levi's back. 

Eren was fully aware that under normal conditions, Levi would have been more than capable of pushing him away. He also realized that he was using Levi's weakness to his own advantage, and to be honest, Eren enjoyed it immensely.

When the younger man finally removed his lips, he let his hands fall and shifted back to get a better look at his boss. Levi's hair was messy, his eyes were wide and his face was undeniably flushed. As a cherry on top of the cake, he was panting and looked as if he was about ready to murder a person, or ten.

As a result of the sudden boost in his confidence that Eren had received from the kiss and the aftermaths of it, he leaned in closer to Levi and softly murmured “What a good face.”

“How dare you!” Levi yowled, regaining his movement. “First off fucking all-”

“Don't lie to me – or yourself – any more, please.” Eren cut his words off blatantly, with zero shame. 

“What?” Levi whispered incredulously. 

“Just admit you love me already.” Eren whispered soflty, barely audible. He was about to dive in for another kiss, but Levi reacted fast, and jerked the car door open. Stepping out of the car, Levi quickly made his way over to the passenger side and yanked the door open, grabbing Eren by the collar of his jacket. He pulled the younger man out of the car and threw him onto the pavement with almost no effort. Eren's body hit the ground and before he could even realize what was happening, Levi's boot was pressed onto his chest so hard it almost gave him trouble breathing.

“Fucking listen to me!” Levi yelled. His voice was wavering, even though all he had wanted from the start was to stay in control of the situation. He hadn't meant to use violence. Heck, in his own opinion, Levi wasn't even a violent person. He had really been hoping to talk this through, but this dicktrumpet of a brat just wouldn't listen. Eren Yeager needed a lesson in discipline, Levi had thought. It was about time to beat some sense into the little shit.

Eren's body was aching from having hit the pavement with that kind of force, his right elbow was abraded and bloody. It stung like hell, yet he couldn't pay any attention to such minor details when Levi - his slightly psychotic, judgemental bastard of a boss - was hovering above his suppressed body with such a threatening and violent (yet scared) look on his face.

“Why would you do that, you shithead?” Levi's slightly hoarse voice cried out, breaking midway through the sentence. “Is this your idea of 'talking things through'?” The heavy leather boot on Eren's chest started slowly applying even more pressure, if that was possible. Eren was really in a tight spot now, as breathing was proving to be an even harder task than he originally thought. When he couldn't even breathe, he definitely couldn't objectify. Struggling with his ragged breaths, Eren had no other choice but to listen to every last thing his superior had in mind to say.

“You,” Levi hissed, teeth gritted together “must really enjoy toying with other people's feelings.” Levi's breaths were heavy and when Eren realized that the older man was waiting for a reply from him, he managed to choke out a pathetic “W-what?” before apparently almost suffocating from the lack of oxygen. 

Seeing Eren struggle for air like that, Levi lifted his boot from the boy's chest, only to grab him by the hair a second later. _God fucking damn it,_ Levi thought. _His hair is so smooth. Fuck everything._

Eren yelped in pain, but quickly rose to his feet to avoid having all of his hair pulled out of his scalp.He could have sworn that he saw an apologetic look in Levi's eyes, but he also realized that the other man wasn't quite satisfied yet.

“Why...are you so against...my love for you?” Eren barely whispered, secretly hoping that maybe a gentle approach would subdue Levi's anger.

But apparently not, as Levi's brows furrowed even closer together. “What the fuck do you know about love?” Almost spitting in Eren's face, he added “Look, I don't know what it is that you and Arlert have, but don't you fucking dare say that you 'love' me, when you can't even make up your god damn mind.”

“What are you talking about?” Anger was rising in Eren, and he screamed at Levi for being so blind. For not noticing his advances. For never accepting his feelings.

“You are the one that can't decide what the fuck you want! I've been in love with you for years now, making advances now and then. I know you've noticed, so why have you been pushing me away all this time, you ignorant asshole?” Eren's jaw clicked together. _Shit, I might have went a little overboard with that._ “Besides, I've never had anything for Armin. I even said so before.” He said in a quieter manner, praying to all existing gods before daring to look up at Levi's face. 

Only gods know what kind of expression Eren was looking for, but this was definitely not one of them. The younger man's mouth cracked open, his throat went dry, his vision blurred.

The look plastered on Levi's face was completely emotionless. It wasn't his usual 'I dont give a fuck about anyone' face. Levi's eyes didn't even blink as he stared quietly into the distance, deep in thought. The blacks under his lids were deeper than usual and _something was very wrong._ There was no way of telling what kinds of thoughts raced through his head at that moment, no one would ever know.

“Eren.” Levi said carefully, letting the words roll off his tongue. “When did you ever drop the 'sir'?”

Eren blinked a few times before yanking his hair out of Levi's loosened grip and standing up in full height. “Huh? That's not relevant at all, is it? Why would you even bring that up now?”

“It's been like what, four days, since that god damn thing happened?” Levi turned his glassy eyes upwards, to look Eren directly into the face. “Look where we are. In some random parking lot at 1 AM yelling obscenities at each other.”

Eren let out an incredulous snort. “It's your fault we're here in the first place. Also, I think you broke my new coat.” Presenting Levi with the sleeve of his coat, which had – as unbelievable as it sounds – torn from the friction that coming into contact with the pavement had caused.

“Piece of shit cheap rag” Levi muttered, and backed off to sit on the passenger seat with the car door still opened, his body facing Eren's direction. Taking a closer look at the younger man, Levi realized that he had really gone too far. “You look like crap.”

“No shit. You did this.”

“I'll pay for that jacket, by the way.” Levi reached in his pocket for the wallet. “How much did that coat cost you?”

Eren winced. None of this bull was necessary. Why did everything about Levi have to be so complicated? Eren didn't want compensation for that shitty coat, or any excuses from the older man. Thruth be told, his heart was aching, and maybe that could have justified all of his actions so far, but it sure as hell hadn't moved Levi. Eren gritted his teeth one last time before relaxing completely.

Kneeling down in front of Levi, Eren gently touched the shorter man's wrists. “No. Instead, how about..you just listen to what I have to say, and then if you want, you can kick me again.”

“Wow, you really are a fucking masochist, or what, Eren?”

Letting out a small chuckle, the younger man began. “You know, ever since I got that job at SC, I've been thinking that I'm so lucky to have a stable position at such a young age. My income pays my taxes, my co-workers are all really nice – some of them are even my long-time friends.” Eren paused to study the look on Levi's face. Finding nothing wrong with it, he continued. “And then there's you. Everything that I'd normally hate in a superior pressed together into one human being. You're arrogant, irritable, judgemental, always angry at me for one reason or another. Dealing with you was a horrible pain for the first few weeks, I admit it. But as time went on, I began to notice things about you that I couldn't at first glance.

You're really experienced, intelligent, a good leader, a surprisingly compassionate human being. Even if you try to hide it, you're also really cute.” Levi's eyebrows furrowed into a threatening stare. “I first realized that when I caught you sleeping in your office that one day. You were probably extremely exhausted so I didn't wake you, but I thought you looked really..adorable in your sleep. So peaceful, so not angry with everything and everyone. I didn't tell you that, but I was actually the one to cover you with that blanket” Levi's face turned red, he couldn't help it. _Fucking brat._ “And everything that I learned about you, every new thing that I discovered, made me love you even more. By the end of my first year I couldn't even look you directly in the eye any more. Every time you looked at me I felt something that I knew I shouldn't have. What I feel for you now is wrong, and it feels wrong. But I can't run any more. My secret is out in the daylight. Now, it's up to you to decide what to do with these feelings, and me.” Giving Levi's hands a firm squeeze, Eren let go and stood up, observing the surroundings. _I can't believe I actually said that. Holy shit._ _He's going to skin me alive._

When no answer came out of Levi, Eren quickly said “Considering everything I just told you, I wouldn't be too surprised if you don't want to see me ever again. If that's really the case, just tell me. I can quit my job, sell my apartment, and I'll probably have enough money to-”

“A-ah!”

Eren gasped when he felt Levi's small, yet strong arms wrap around his waist. When he looked down at the shorter man, Eren found that Levi's face had an unfamiliar expression. Something warm and kind, but still wary and careful at the same time. It took his breath away.

“Don't say anything unnecessary, moron.” Levi murmured, and pulled Eren closer, leaning in for a kiss. It was warm and kind and contained feelings, Eren realized. The so rare feelings of his beloved supervisor – no, his beloved Levi - that he had longed for such a long time. These feelings were honest and pure, there was no more hurt, no more venom on Levi's sharp tongue. Only the slight taste of coffee that tickled Eren's taste buds.

It felt like falling into a sea of feathers, and Eren never wanted to climb out again.

When Levi finally pulled away and let go of Eren's waist, a more serious expression shaded his previous one.

“I admit it, I might have been lying to myself. I really like you, Eren, okay? And I want this to work out, but...” Levi's eyes fixated on Eren's. “relationships between co-workers are still illegal, you know? The only way for this to work is if we keep it a secret for now. I can't say that I'm quite prepared to sacrifice my job for a relationship just yet.”

Eren breathed a heavy sigh. He couldn't care less. He was happy, he had finally achieved what he had longed for what seemed like forever. He couldn't think. Instead, he only nodded and gave Levi his best smile.

“As long as all this isn't a dream – I don't really care what happens next.”

“Moron,” Levi chuckled, finally giving in to his deepest, most secret desires. He rose to tip-toes to kiss Eren once more, to feel the younger man's warmth. It was getting cold outside.

So they stood there, in each other's arms, savouring the moment, neither of them daring to move, neither of them daring to ruin the moment.

When Eren finally victoriously grinned into the kiss, Levi pulled back.

“I'm still going to buy you a new coat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm extremely sorry, but I won't be continuing this story any longer. I never really planned out the plot properly, and I've become really unsatisfied with the way this just didn't work out for me. However, I'm glad I could wrap this up on a happy note. I'm very sorry.


End file.
